im gay
i know
yea but for you.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
