I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
