Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize