Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
