we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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