My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
