then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
