I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
