Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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