Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
porn star boner night. come get it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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