when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
