his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I fill condoms, not promises.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
