Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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