I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
