Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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