Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
