some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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