if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
