as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Pooping to opera.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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