best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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