Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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