I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Found the puke drawer
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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