thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
