Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
