I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
