I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
