so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
that's an acceptable place to lick
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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