barbara walters just said penis...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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