Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
