Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
