I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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