U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
