I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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