? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So squirting runs in the family.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
