Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
