I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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