He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
