bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
