ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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