Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
