Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
