yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
