he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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