there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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