you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
