I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
