Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
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