why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
