yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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