im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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