i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
