If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
