You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
