She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
