1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
