you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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