i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
