What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
