i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
