I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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