Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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