I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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