i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think a kid would responsible me up
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
