my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
