Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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